Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I Don't Want To Be Friends, part 2

It's not just politics or who won the presidency that has left me so disappointed and disillusioned today. I haven't "unfriended" people over bitterness that my candidate lost.

What hurts the most is that so many people in this country have chosen to go against everything that we stand for. How can you teach your children that being a bully is wrong when you elected one? How can you say you want to defend the constitution when you elected someone who would dismantle the first amendment if given half a chance? How can you tell me you love and care about me when you chose someone who bragged about sexually assaulting women; who calls women who disagree with him disgusting pigs; who wants to deny women the right to make decisions about their own bodies; you talk about following the rules and pulling your own weight and yet this man hasn't paid taxes in decades. You speak of respecting our veterans, and this man has mocked POWs, glorified war crimes, dodged the draft, and disparaged a gold star family. He's someone who wants to deny equal rights to just about every one who isn't rich, white, straight, male, and over a certain age.

Yes this is one man, but you chose him. You feel this person is fit to be the leader of the free world. If these are values that you hold, that you agree with, that you feel are not a big deal... It's not that I don't want to be friends because Trump is a bombastic asshole, it's because you are.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Overheard... And the Response I Wish I Would Have Made

A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were sitting at the bar in one of the local steakhouses that we frequent, and I overheard a conversation between a woman and her companions.  I know, I know, you shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but they were so loud it was impossible to not pay attention.

The woman was telling the man sitting next to her that she thought young women were evil and that they were the absolute worst.  I found this disappointing, but I figured that I would keep listening to see where it was going.  She started in on how her 15 year old daughter's best friend was a horrible bitch... Her reasoning? The friend told the daughter that she was beautiful without make up.  That's it. She told her friend that she was beautiful.  Mom wasn't having it though, she made sure to correct the friend and tell her daughter "She is only saying that because she wants to steal your man, and they only want she can do that is if you're ugly and not wearing make up."

I had to stop listening at this point, because I was starting to see red and I wanted to swim across the bar to confront the lady.  Instead I leaned over to my boyfriend and whispered into his ear, "Did I hear that right? Did she really just tell these people that her daughter is ugly without a face full of paint? Did I misunderstand?" He assured me that I heard correctly, and that maybe I shouldn't be listening in on conversations that I'm not part of.

So I went back to my drink, and food was served shortly, but clearly this exchange stayed with me.  It really bothers me that people are teaching their daughters that other girls are the enemy, and especially at such a young age.  A fifteen year old shouldn't have to worry about someone "stealing her man" she should be worried about whether or not she's going to pass her final exams, and what she's going to do over the weekend.  She should be learning that her girlfriends can last a lifetime, but your high school crush will likely only last a few months.  GIRLS ARE NOT THE ENEMY.  Boys aren't either, but they shouldn't be your only focus in life, there are so many other dreams to chase at that age.

I hope all my friends with daughters teach them to be true to themselves.  If they want to wear make up, that's cool, but that they don't need it to feel worthy.  They don't need to paint themselves to be beautiful, to be loved.  I hope they're taught that ugliness is more than skin deep, that you can be conventionally pretty, but still have a hideous soul and that it's better to be a good person than to look good in designer jeans.  Help the underdog, hold your friends' hand when they're feeling insecure, build up others instead of tearing them down.  Speak out when something needs to be said, be fearless.  Strength is more that big muscles, it's in your character, make yours one worth remembering.

A Short Update

It's been months since I've last posted, something like six, and I miss you terribly.  I have much more limited access to internet that I have in the past, and to be completely honest I've been suffering from writer's block.  I don't know what I want to write about, and I feel stuck.

There have been some changes since the last post.  We were unable to keep the dog we adopted around Thanksgiving time, she couldn't get along with Bugsy, our other dog, and the shelter said the best course of action would be to take her back.  She was an awesome girl, but needed to be an "only child" and Bugsy needs to live in an envrironment where he isn't in fear for his life on a regular basis.

We're still living out in the country, it is hard to believe we're only 2 months away from being in this place for a year.  There were beautiful wildflower growing on the mountains all around us, it made for a very scenic drive home, we often just hopped in the car and went looking at all the gorgeous places around us.

I an still happy at my job, it really feels like home. I've been there since September and I really feel like I've found my tribe.  It is such a great feeling to finally work at a place where I feel appreciated and that what I do matters.  Things are still great on the relationship front, I've never been in a place like this, and it's really the best.  It is so good to be part of a team.