Monday, June 30, 2014

Dream State Escalate: 45

Had a dream that I was back in school again and had missed a few classes. The assignment was to discuss the movie Apollo 13 and the marketing strategies used when it was released. I was totally panicked because I hadn't seen the film since it's release and couldn't remember anything beyond "Houston we have a problem."


Also my desk chair was sized for a kindergartner and I couldn't see over my desk since I was sitting so low.


Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Lumineers: Album Review

The Lumineers (self titled album)
Point of Sale: iTunes
Price: $9.99

Every time I hear this band on the radio I can't help but smile and turn it up.  It's pretty mellow, and has a bit of a retro feel to it.


  1. Flowers in your Hair: CAUSE IT’S A LONG ROAD TO WISDOM /BUT IT’S A SHORT ONE/TO BEING IGNORED
  2. Classy Girls: CLASSY GIRLS DON'T KISS IN BARS YOU FOOL
  3. Submarines:  I HAD NONE SO I WILL DIE WITH THE SECRETS OF THE SEA
  4. Dead Sea: I DON’T GAMBLE, BUT IF I DID I WOULD BET ON US
  5. Ho Hey:  AND LOVE, WE NEED IT NOW/LET’S HOPE FOR SOME/CAUSE OH, WE’RE BLEEDING OUT
  6. Slow it Down:  ONLY LOVE CAN DIG YOU OUT OF THIS
  7. Stubborn Love:  THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE’S INDIFFERENCE
  8. Big Parade:  ALL MY LIFE I WAS BLIND, I WAS BLIND, NOW I SEE
  9. Charlie Boy:  LILLIAN, DON'T HANG YOUR HEAD, LOVE SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
  10. Flapper Girl:  FLAPPER GIRL, FLAPPER GIRL/PROHIBITION IN CURLS/HAIR OF GOLD AND A NECK OF CURLS
  11. Morning Song:  AND ALL THE PRETTY DAMES/THEY’LL HUG AND KISS YOU ALL THE SAME

"You Get What You Settle For" - Louise Sawyer, Thelma and Louise

I'm not a big fan of settling, I'm willing to wait for what I want most of the time... so when I see people I care about settling for less than what they want or deserve in relationships it truly baffles me.

Are you really too cheap to buy an electric blanket to warm your bed at night?

Why do so many men and women stay in unsatisfactory relationships with someone they're only dating?  I can understand trying to work things out if you're in it for the long haul, but why would you stay with someone who has made it abundantly clear (many times) that a) they aren't in love with you, b) wouldn't miss you if you were gone, c) doesn't see ANY kind of future with you.

Are you REALLY that masochistic? I know you can't be naive enough to believe that you can change someone's feelings just by waiting it out.

And for the person who allows the relationship to continue even though you don't want it... why?  Why do you want to waste your time, and someone else's?  Why do you want to tease someone who you know is crazy in love with you when you know you'll never return the feelings?

Are you REALLY that sadistic? I've seen you be so much better than this, why are you hurting someone on purpose, because you are.  You know that your actions (or inaction) and your lack of feelings are hurting this person, but you haven't been firm in telling them to pack their bags.  Are you lazy? Or just that emotionally bankrupt that having anyone (even if it's the wrong one) love you is better that being single (even if you don't love them)?

None of this is okay.  Breaking up can be hard, painful, and ugly... but you know what is worse? Wasting years of your life with someone that you don't care about or who doesn't care about you.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Oreo Buttercream Frosting

My grandmother's 81st birthday was this weekend, and my mom wanted it to be potluck style.  I was assigned to bring the birthday cake, which is awesome, because if I'm bringing anything to a potluck type party I want to bring desserts or an appetizer, I'm not usually too stoked on bringing a main course if I don't have to.  Grandma requested a chocolate cake, and the rest was left to my imagination.  I used a Duncan Hines Devil's Food Cake box mix, but instead of using oil, I used butter, and instead of water, I used milk, and added a packet of chocolate instant pudding mix. These substitutions help the box cakes taste more homemade.  I wanted to do something different with the frosting than chocolate or vanilla, and I remembered the MOST AMAZING cupcake I had in Los Angeles, at a cupcakery called Crumbs, a few years back and it had a cookies and cream frosting.  I wanted to see if I could do something similar, so off to Google my fingers ran, until  I found the recipe that I was able to slightly modify to make the best frosting I've had in my whole life.  The original can be found here

This is the recipe I used (nearly identical to the link)

  • 1 cup softened butter
  • 3.5 cups powdered sugar
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 3 tablespoons milk
  • 1 cup finely crushed/packed Oreo pieces (I ground them up in the food processor, about a sleeve and a half of the regular Oreos )


·         Cream the butter for a few minutes until it is light (I had to stop the mixer a couple of times to clear the whisk beater)
·         Sift in the powdered sugar (I just dumped it in, couldn’t find the sifter, didn’t seem to make a difference)
·         Beat until entirely combined with the butter
·         Add vanilla and milk, beat for 3 minutes
·         Add crushed Oreos and mix well to combine


**add more milk to gain a thinner consistency, more sugar and/or Oreos to thicken

It was a complete hit... however, if I were to make it again I'd want to double the recipe. This was just enough to cover the cake, and I didn't have enough ingredients to make more to pipe on decorations to have a more finished look.




Thursday, June 5, 2014

Graduation Day

This year marks the 15 year anniversary of graduating from high school, and the 10 year milestone for graduating from the university. 

I’m not sure if I know anyone who is celebrating their own graduation this year, but if I could give my younger self some advice it would go something like this.

Work hard to accomplish your goals even when it’s easier to be lazy, it’s not the grade that is important, it’s the life skills you gain by learning time management and the satisfaction of a job well done.  Even though group projects are THE WORST, they prepare you for life outside of school and learning how to work well with difficult people is something you’re going to have to get used to.  You will discover that your best friends will filter through the time and miles, and that you don’t need to see them every day to stay close to them.  People will surprise you, both good and bad, and you will surprise yourself.  Be true to who you are, and even though it’s completely clich├ęd don’t sweat the small stuff.  Remember that your actions have consequences, not only for yourself but for others around you as well.  You are not an island.

Play harder.  Fall in love with life over and over again.  You’ll never have the free time and lack of responsibilities like you do now again, at least not until you retire or marry a billionaire, and you can’t count on either of those future options.  Laugh as much as possible, spend time with your family, you don’t know how much time you have left with them.  Never forget to say “I love you” there will come days that you’ll regret that you didn’t say it enough to the people who needed to hear it the most.

Experience new things, you’re going to love sushi, and stop being afraid of change.  Be bold, be brave, and sometimes leap before you look.  Don’t panic when things don’t go as planned, detours are often the best part of adventures.

Be careful who you give your heart to, but at the same time never be afraid of love.  Even when that certain someone breaks your heart, and he will, love is always a gift.  You will get hurt, life doesn’t come with a floatation device and some days you’ll feel like you’re drowning, but you have to keep swimming, even if you get tired.  Remember the good times, but don’t let them blind you to dangerous situations.  Be gentle with other people’s hearts too, even if you can’t love them back, don’t be callous, and don’t hurt them on purpose.  It’s much kinder to rip a band aid off than to slowly tear every hair out one by one, it may not seem like it in the moment, but it really is.

Above all stay honest, speak your mind, do not allow yourself to be silenced.  Your stories matter, your voice needs to be heard.  Never stop sticking up for the underdog even when it’s hard and it might make people uncomfortable.  Do what feels right in your heart even if it means taking a different path that the one you originally started on.

Learn to let go of the toxic people in your life, you may not always be able to avoid them, but you don’t have to go out of your way to make space for them in your heart either.  If someone treats you poorly on a regular basis, they are not your friend, stop making excuses for their bad behavior and move on, it won’t always be easy, but your mental health will thank you for it down the road.  Hold the people who support you, who inspire you, who grow you, close to your heart.  These are the people who will be there for you whether you live 2 miles away or 2,000.  Be the kind of friend that will answer the phone at 2am and come to a friend’s rescue, no questions asked. 

There are going to be hard days ahead, really really hard days, ones that make you wonder why you even got out of bed.  Your friends are going to be the ones to get you through these days, whether they offer you a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear, a road trip to distract you, or they crawl in bed with you so that you don’t feel so alone.  Remember that there will be better days to come, and that while some things you never really get over, it will get easier to roll out of bed and learn to smile again.  No one gets through life unscarred, you have to make a decision to be a victim or a survivor, sometimes you have to make that very conscious choice every day.  You absolutely cannot let the bad days defeat you.  You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to be vulnerable, you are allowed to feel scared and weak, you are NOT allowed to give up.

Be passionate about the world around you.  Never lose the joy of learning new things, never stop challenging yourself.  You are a creative person so lose yourself in your art whether it’s taking photographs, drawing, writing, or any other mediums you pick up on your journey.  Change the world around you, make it a better place, find a cause that you can fight for. Be an advocate, an ally, and let your voice ring out among the masses.  There is so much wrong in the world, do your part to set things right.

Do your best to live a life with as few regrets as possible, try not to stay angry at people who have disappointed you. You do not always have to forgive and forget, but you do have to let go and move on.  If you’ve done something that you are sorry for, apologize sincerely.  If someone has hurt you, find a way to get passed it, even if that means letting go of the relationship (whether that be a friendship, a romance, a negative work environment, or maybe even a family member).  You cannot control other people’s behaviors, but you can control your reaction and limit your interactions.  Try not to hold hate in your heart, it only hurts you, it won’t always be easy but it is important.


I have found that the easiest way to be happy is to find joy in the small things, minimal traffic on the way to work, flowers blooming, good coffee in the morning, eyeliner applied perfectly the first time, casual hot tub nights with the girlfriends, spending time in nature, late night talks with people who make me laugh, guilty pleasures like celebrity gossip and fashion, reading, bright colors, Harry Potter on DVD, and good food.  Your goals and ideas about how your life should be will change over and over again and that’s okay, there’s no shame in changing your mind or deciding that maybe you were a little off in the coordinates you used to map out your life.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

#YesAllWomen



This hashtag has been floating around the internet for the last week or so, since the tragedy in Isla Vista. It's become a forum for people to share their experiences, their support of each other, it scared a lot of people, but it also reassured many that they were not alone.

It blew my mind to read about things that had happened to friends and strangers, some of things people had experienced might have been something as mild and someone giving them a creepy once over to people being assaulted and left for dead, just for being born female. I got lost in the stories, I cried with my sisters of the world, I had gotten angry, and I grieved for what was lost.

Some people took offense to the trending topic, stating that #NotAllMen were monsters and it was unfair to paint such an ugly picture of their half of the human race. Some people thought it was fear mongering and was trying to turn woman into man-hating banshees.

I found that those arguments were derailing to the cause, that most rational people would understand that not all men were bad guys, and that while all women have probably experienced some sort of harassment, they aren't all victims. We don't all hate men. We aren't all walking around scared.

We are strong. We are survivors.

The louder we are, the more we break barriers, the more we become comfortable telling our stories, the better chance we have that our daughters, our nieces, our friends little girls won't have to share these experiences.  That they won't have to learn how not to get raped, that they won't have to clench their car keys in their fists while walking at night, that they won't be afraid to report the crimes against them, and that when they do report those crimes they will find justice.

This memorial weekend marked the 18 year disappearance of Cal Poly freshman Kristin Smart, they are no closer to solving her mystery than they were nearly two decades ago, the case is still open and still gathering dust.  When will her parents get the truth?  When do they get their closure?

When will all the people who have been ignored or neglected by the legal system get the justice they deserve?

We need to stand up and fight, we need to be heard, we need to be brave and cannot allow ourselves to be silenced by people who are afraid of our strength.