Friday, May 10, 2013

Dream State Escalate: 36

I know it's been awhile since I've posted in the dream journal, and it's not so much that I haven't been dreaming, it's been that they continue to be disjointed and I don't remember them long enough to get more than an sentence or two on the screen.

Over the weekend I kept dreaming that I was travelling all over the world, but had no money for necessities, like food and lodging... and my friends were really upset that I couldn't pay $550 a plate for spaghetti in Italy. Or $40 for a slice of pizza in Las Vegas. Personally I think my friends were acting like assholes because they knew I couldn't afford it and they still insisted that we go to those places... also if the sommelier keeps pouring you wine that you didn't order or ask to be refilled, still expect to pay that $100 tab for 3 glasses of table red. Le sigh.

Last night I had one of my reoccurring dreams/nightmares that involved my former stepmother... I don't know why she pops up just to unsettle me at least once a month... apparently she likes haunting me even if she isn't dead. Anyway last night wasn't so much of a nightmare as it was annoying. She showed up at my house and was telling me that I needed to forgive her for all the chaos she caused my family four years ago, that she wasn't the same person, that I needed to "let go of the hate" so that we could be friends again.  I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Bitch please, we were never friends, it doesn't matter if you've changed, and I don't hate you. You mean nothing to me, you're a stranger, and that is how I would like to keep it. I don't wish any bad things to happen to you, I just don't want to know you. Now please leave my house."

I've told her as much 4.5 years ago when she was stalking my facebook page and trying to get me to be "friends" with her... I left off the bitch part, but basically told her to leave me alone that I didn't want to be friends, in a polite, if cold, manner. I don't think there is anything unresolved between us, so I don't know why when I'm stressed about life or whatever that she invades my dreams... I can't decide if it's better or worse than the reoccurring nightmares of working at the Surf Shop from my college days. At least in these dreams I stand up for myself and tell her what I think, which doesn't happen in the college job dreams... maybe my mind is just crazy.