Thursday, February 7, 2013

Clipped Wings

Tuesday I spent most of the day (at work) light headed and dizzy, trying to focus and get shit done...

Yeah, things didn't work out as planned. At the end of the day I locked up my office and headed straight for Urgent Care, where I spent the next two hours trying to figure out WTH is up with my body. Preliminary diagnosis is "Benign Postural Vertigo" so basically what it means is there is fluid in my ears and if I move my head a certain way the room will spin like a tilt-o-whirl and I have to grab on to the nearest solid surface since life has no seat belts.

I had a bit of an anxiety attack in the doctor's office, which caused my blood pressure to spike and they had to take it at least 3 times to get an accurate read, and even then they really just gave up and said "it's a little high, but it's because you're scared and are anxious," yeah I was anxious, every time the doctor would do a new test to figure out what was wrong she would get this weird confused look on her face like she'd never seen anything like what I was experiencing. Then she got nervous when out of nowhere I started crying, I didn't know what was happening, I couldn't control it, and I'm sorry I'm scaring you, but please figure this shit out. Thanks. The doc wouldn't release me from her office until I phoned a friend (my awesome Aunt and Uncle) to come and pick me up because when your life feels like a literal roller coaster instead of just an emotional one you have no business behind the wheel. After picking up my 'scripts at the pharmacy I went home to be picked up by my parents since no one thought it was safe for me to spend the night alone.

Yesterday I spent the day feeling like a flightless bird, more specifically one with clipped wings because I wasn't able to do anything but lay in bed and watch TV. I didn't even have my car with me... not that there was anywhere I needed to be, per doctor's orders I wasn't allowed to go to work. It was such a weird feeling to be in my parents house and without a vehicle, and really too sick to move anyway. It was like being 15 all over again... the only thing missing was tanning oil and lounge chairs in the back yard (although when taking new meds, it isn't always a good idea to try to work on your tan).

Today I decided to try going to work...I'm not sure how good of an idea it was. I mean I'm here, I'm getting some stuff done, but my typing skills have plummeted, and I'm about as focused as a squirrel on speed. When things start to spin all I can do is put my head down and wait for the ride to end (thankfully it isn't happening too often).

The plan so far is to go in for a general lab work up on Saturday and then meet with the doctor again next week to see if there is anything that we need to talk about. Fingers crossed it isn't too serious and can be managed with relative ease.