Thursday, January 31, 2013

Dream State Escalate: 7

I had a couple of interesting dreams last night, I'll start with the soft fluffy one, even though it's out of order, I'm really hesitant to share the other one. It was so dark and sad, and true. So for the sake of honesty and making this dream journal I will share it, but with reservations.

The first one was that I was at a Natalie Maines (from the Dixie Chicks) concert at the Chumash Casino. She was great, she talked to the crowd and was entertaining and lovely... except she didn't sing her music. She played the piano and other instruments, but when it came to sing she'd pull out a record (yes a vinyl album) and put it on for the voice tracks. The one song that really stuck out in the dream was Easy Silence which is one of my favorites.

The other dream was that I was in bed with my boyfriend (this wasn't a sexy dream, don't worry I won't scandalize you with dirty details because there are none), I couldn't see his face as it was nighttime and dark, so I'm not sure if Miles Austin infiltrated my sleep patterns again, I didn't recognize his voice from my real life friends, so I don't think it was someone from my past, at least not a recent past. Anyway... back to the dream. I snuggled up against his chest, he wrapped his arms around me and said "babe, go back to sleep, love you" and I burst into tears, he gets worried and says "what's wrong?" and between sniffles and tears I mumble "I'm scared" he goes on to tell me that it was just a nightmare and that everything is okay. This is where I proceed to tell him that I'm scared because I love him so much, and that I'm just waiting for him to break my heart. That every time I surrendered to love in the past that whomever I loved had walked out on me, and that I was just waiting for him to change his mind about me {side note, just typing this makes me cry again}.

I'm pretty sure my brain threw me a bone with the Natalie dream after traumatizing me with the other one.

UPDATED: 3:42pm

I just had a flashback from another dream I had... just remembered

I was having a slumber party (weird I know, I'm in my 30s) and when I woke up my bed was in my office at work. I was using my laptop instead of the desktop (seeing as how I was still in bed) and kept falling back asleep. I finally got up and went to the bathroom, telling my co-worker to tell my boss my allergies were bad and I had to take a shower to clear things up... NOT THAT I COULDN"T STAY AWAKE. Ummm weird. I thought showering would mask my sleepiness?